In A State Of Mental Depression
Everything happened so fast
Didnt expect it to be
Didnt know what to do
Part of me is hurt
Tormented by what happened
I tried to forget
But to no avail
It haunts me still
Bt at the same time
The other part of me is smiling
Desires and needs overwhelmed my anger
Im torn between two separate worlds
Didnt know which to choose
Sacrifices as they always say
Wasnt a friend of mine
When im in this state
Noting seems to work
Everything seems wrong.
I tried to undo the past
Bt i failed
I tried to correct the wrong
Failure i faced
Be positive
Thats the advice i get
Bt i cudnt help
Bt to bring myself to depression.
If there's only one wish
Just one wish...
Suicide...Death...
Is what i wished for now...
To end this pain now and forever.
I cudnt face you
Not now...
And i dont know for how long more
Ashamed i am
Bt still i have to face up to you soon
If only you could understand
What im going through
And not ask too much of me
All i needed was space
Yet i didnt want to be alone
You said you had be there for me
Instead i brought to drive you away from me
I didnt know what im doing
Im going insane by every minute
Trying to figure out
Whats to become of me
Every second that passes by
Anger was the only thing that keeps me accompany
Like ashes i rose
Clothed in flames...
Im tired
I cudnt take it anymore
Mebe...
Just mebe...
The only reason that keeps me going...
That keeps me breathing...
Are the people that i have...
Who loves me
And are there to watch my back...
To take my hand...
When i fall..
And say...
Thats okay...
I want to feel your warmth
Your concern
And your care
To be there for me
Like you always promised
Bt you gave up on me easily
And it hurts
Mebe im just too sensitive
Or was i over-reacting???
I didnt know
And i dont want to know
I knew that you tried to show your care n concern for me
Bt mebe it wasnt enough for me to realise and appreciate it
Because you didnt try hard enough to convince me
Why did you always give up on me so easily??
WHY???
There were no answers to my question
All i could say...
Maybe thats the reason why i give up on you easily
When faced with problems
Because you gave up on me
You tell me you've faith in us
But where is it??
So many times i tried to tell you...
Bt you just wouldnt listen
We're living in reality
Not a dream that we all wished for
Sometimes we just have to learn to accept
Nothing...
But the truth...Accept the facts...
And face reality...
Not everything turns out to be the way we expect it to be...
At times, i regretted my decisions
Bt then...whats the point of regretting
Whats done...cant be undone...
I dont want to go on feeling hurt...
I cant bear to suffer anymore...
I dont want too many questions to be asked from me...
Just let me be this way...
Lay your arms around me
And let me feel the warmth of your touch
As i stay seduced and comforted by your love
And say," Im always here for you no matter what happens."
And that you meant every single word that you've said
With every breath that you breathed...
I'll always believe in you...
You said i didnt want to talk to you...
Bt i never mentioned those words...
You took my silence for granted...
I was trying so hard to fight with my feelings
Not to let anger and frustration take its will
Bt you misjudged me
You thought you knew me well
Thats why you leave me there
I didnt want to torture you...
Let me be the one to swallow the pain
Let me overcome my anger
While you leave me alone
To comfort your inner self
And wonder whats going on
I didnt want to be rude
I didnt ask for this to happen
Im just sad
Disappointed
Angry
Im so sorry...
It affected me too much
I just couldnt forget it...
Im sorry.
